Sometimes you just need a nap.
I got off to a good start this morning, knocking out both my stretching and my abs before breakfast, and I kept going after with some reading, but I abruptly ran out of steam around 2:00. After pacing and debating for a few minutes, I succumbed to exhaustion and slept for two hours. Even after my nap, I wanted to keep sleeping, but Guy brought my wake-up call in the form of Howie snuggles, which made it bearable to get out of bed.
|Cooking||Today’s Menu: I started my day eating toast with peanut butter and sliced banana; for a late lunch, I made myself a quesadilla using leftover flank steak sent home with us from family dinner on Sunday; I didn’t feel like eating a heavy meal after dance class, so I snacked on miscellaneous things for “dinner.”|
|Reading (Poetry)||I can’t say I loved “At the Champion Avenue Low-Income Senior & Child Care Services Center” by Kathy Fagan, but only because the images she draws of older people at a care facility hit very close to home. My grandfather died in September, after spending several months in a few different memory care centers. I never visited him. He wouldn’t have recognized me if I had, and it’s not like we had a relationship before that which might trigger memories or lucid moments. I feel so sad just thinking about care facilities, I couldn’t bring myself to go. I don’t do funerals, either, if I can help it. Guy keeps reminding me that it’s not about the person who died, but the people who didn’t, and I understand that, but I also don’t deal with my own grief by surrounding myself with relative strangers in an awkwardly formal setting, so funerals really creep me out. Thinking about death really brings out the nihilist in me.|
|Reading (Fiction)||I spent over an hour reading The Poisonwood Bible today. I just get all daydreamy and lose time!|
|Reading (Nonfiction)||I read a few pages of Maid after I tore myself away from fiction. Every chapter, it seems, she describes some new burden heaped upon her by the state, in order to prove how worthy and needy she is, in order to get assistance. There’s this idea that people receiving social support services, whether they be SNAP benefits or housing vouchers or child care credits, are surfing along just collecting taxpayer dollars. I’m telling you, though, based on what author Stephanie Land describes, that simply isn’t possible. One has to really want it.|
|Music||Today I played some electric bass along with Guy (who was on guitar). It was nice to share some music with my man.|
My poem today was again inspired my dance class. Tonight, we did an exercise with mirrors, and I was reminded of the first time I did this exercise, when it first occurred to me that I could find no fault with any part of my body as seen in small sections in the mirror but I could not appreciate them as a whole. This is my poem about that:
draw a circle.
into it, press your passions,
your hopes and dreams,
your expectations and inhibitions,
put all of yourself into your palm,
watch it reflect:
the gentle slope of your shoulder,
the fumbling light rising and setting
on the curving horizon of your thigh,
lips soft fingertips trailing
under beside the many pieces
of your orbiting heavenly body.
"mirror" – Sarah Reebs 10/15/2019
[Sorry for not transcribing these sooner; I intend to go back and do this for past poems, and continue it going forward.]
I get bored of taking pictures of trash. Here’s a neat-ish perspective:|
I got back on track with my abs challenge, which left me with dance class. I’ve been feeling super inspired in the studio lately, so it was an easy thing to put on my fishnet-sleeved bodysuit and go hang out with some of my favorite people. My dance felt indulgent and stretchy, and it was a completely lovely way to end my already low-key day (well, okay, I wrote my poem after that, but it was a continuation of the same energy!) I cannot wait to ooze into sleep now, so I can wake up and start something new.